Dating relationships are not really taught in the Bible but the definition of unequally yoked relationships is. Here are 5 signs you are in an unequally yoked relationship and what you can do to get out.
Sign 1: You are a christian and the person isn’t.
There’s nothing wrong with building friendships with nonbelievers, but that’s just it. A friendship. The confides of a friendship are people who you share the word of God with and providing them with people and advisors to help him with their relationship with God. Anything beyond that has become an attachment.
Sign 2: You are comfortable with being with him without fellowship.
If you only want to talk to him in a public setting with no one around AND denies him of meeting people of the body or he doesn’t want to meet people of the body, it has become an unequally yoke relationship. “24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10: 24-25) When you detach him from fellowship or yourself you are not taking account of what is most important which is Christ’s return.
Sign 3: You are comfortable with not getting advice about him.
Proverbs 15:22 “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Advice about a man you like is crucial even more if he’s an a nonbeliever. If you start feel awkward, frustrated, and/or upset about the relationship, then you are most likely in an unequally yoked relationship.
Sign 4: You make it your goal to be alone with him.
This is if the relationship has reached to engaging in sexual immorality. With that, ask if the relationship is worth it? In Luke 14:28, Jesus discussed how the wisdom of carefully planning is what is necessary to build a tower before actually building it. Think about this: With continuing to sin sexually with him, are you building a good foundation or an unstable one? Lastly, most men are aiming to isolate you from godly influences. When you start to see this, you may need to run.
Sign 5: You have no concerns of biblical principles when it comes to engaging with him.
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5) When you start to indulge yourself with him but ignore the warning signs from God you are choosing to separate from God and cultivating worldly habits that leads to death.
Here’s How to Get Out
Now that we’ve gotten the signs out of the way, let’s look at how to transform your thinking which could lead you to repentance and turning to godly relationships.
–Set boundaries for yourself. Know what the triggers are when you see him, how you act when you see him, and what happens when you are with him. Knowing these tools will set the perimeters of how you move forward. Remember, you can forgive someone but not continue on the relationship. Read Hebrews 10:26 the effects of continual sin.
–Cultivate godly friendships and change your environment. Most of these unequally yoked relationships are formulated in worldly settings. It’s good to take believers with you and remove yourself in those settings.
-Don’t force change. You don’t need to change anyone nor force anything. God will provide. It’s best to just leave the relationship, forgive, and give it to God. Also have spiritual mentors or godly influences to help you process and grieve.